View of Love: Have You Ever Known These Two Types
Let's look at the specific performance of fate and growth in all phases of the relationship when it comes to view of love:
View of Love When Not Entering the Relationship:
Fatality: The people who have the view of love is like destiny belief which have many specific imaginations or requirements for love and partners. They believe in love at first sight, pay attention to the first impression, and believe that a relationship is only "fighting" and "not suitable". They tend to fall into a brief fascination with others, but the number of loves is not too much (or the duration is always short), and many of them are long-term single. They always satisfy their own imagination of the "right person" because they are satisfied with each other. They think that the other person is that person, and then quickly enter the relationship and find that the other party is not the person they want. The fateful person has been waiting for the "right person" to appear.
Growth: The people who have the view of love is like growth belief,they don't have too many specific requirements for their partners and relationships. Even if they have some images of their own, these imaginations do not affect their actual actions. They believe that feelings can be cultivated, and they are willing to start a relationship with the mentality of "getting along with each other". They believe in long-term love and the situation of accepting friends and lovers.
View of Love When in the Relationship:
Fatality: view of love is like destiny belief people when the relationship has stabilized, they basically determine that the other party is "the person". When they encounter contradictions, they are prone to overreacting. How can it be difficult to accept the "right person"? I want to break up or completely abandon the relationship because of some very detailed things, because ta may not be right. They are prone to situations that are easy to give to a partner or a relationship.
Growth: view of love is like growth belief people are proactive in their relationship as a whole. They will take the initiative to discover problems in the relationship and are willing to work with their partners to solve problems. They will not easily make a decision to end the relationship, nor will they easily conclude a conclusion to a person or negate a relationship as a whole. In their view, contradictions are normal and can be resolved.
Have different types view of love’s people are also very different in dealing with the ideals of love and reality. One study found that people's different beliefs about love determine whether the gap between reality and ideal affects their relationship and partner satisfaction.
The people who have view of love is destiny belief usually cannot distinguish between ideal ideals and reality for love, while the people who have view of love is growth belief can treat the two separately. Therefore, when the fate-type person finds that there is a difference between the lover and his ideal, he will feel deeply disappointed because of this gap. This gap will really affect their satisfaction with this relationship. The growth person interprets this gap as a signal that he begins to understand his partner deeply, thinking that the gap is because he is knowing the real Ta. Although they may have a short-term disappointment, they accept this gap, and not only will not deduct points for their partner or this relationship but also add points to Ta when they see their partner's change and growth in the future. There are also some growth models that even look at ideals and reality completely. For example, a person knows that he likes good-looking people, but his partner looks ordinary, but Ta can accept it frankly: I like people with outstanding appearance, my partner is not, but this does not prevent me from like Ta. The fate type is unable to deal with the gap between ideal and reality, and it is even more impractical for them to "ideal" to the other half. Therefore, they will always give each other after entering the relationship. Deduction points."
View of Love Confuse You?
No matter which extreme is in it, it may hinder us from getting happiness. The most ideal love affair is fate plus growth, each taking its own strengths. Then, what is the good fate + growth type? First of all, it is necessary to have the other half and an intimate relationship. Fatalism people have a lot of demands and imaginations for the other half. In fact, the requirement itself is not a bad thing, it can even be said to be necessary. My suggestion is to turn the requirements into clear, clear problem-dealers. For example, "Ta can't smoke," "Ta is a good person to my parents," and "Ta must respect women." However, it should be noted that these requirements cannot be too high, not too vague, nor too much. A person who wants everything, and often the person who knows the most what he really wants. In addition, it is also important to attach importance to "feeling" like a fateful type. Although feelings can be cultivated, can a person who has no good feelings or even resentment be able to "send out" feelings? The answer is probably no. Although the chemical reaction that attracts each other is not necessarily true love, if there is no feeling of chemical reaction, love obviously does not exist.
However, after confirming the relationship, we need to operate like a growth type. A better and better relationship is not because there is no problem - a seemingly innocent relationship may be the most vulnerable. In contrast, it is precise because there are various problems, and then you have faced these problems and solved them, which has promoted each other's growth and completed the growth of this relationship. A perfect partner is not realistic, but a "good enough" partner exists. I hope that you can catch the "good enough" person and grow up into the "right person" of each other. One person tries to start, then two people keep working hard, and good enough happiness is not far from you.