How to conduct an intimate relationship assessment?

soul mate

Long-term intimacy is also like a commercial “partnership”, except that the goal of the partnership is to jointly manage the next life. Just like a business partnership, when both parties consider living together for a long time, they need to consider both benefits and costs, a common vision, long-term goals, and discussions on various specific projects, such as buying a house, relocating, giving birth, taking care of the elderly, etc. Wait. Each of us, as well as the intimacy itself, is mobile, and no two will remain the same. You can't walk on the same track forever. As each other's development path becomes more and more distant and the gap becomes larger, your environment is so different from that of ta. Everyday things you talk about can no longer be understood by the other party, and it will be easier to face emotional breakdown danger.

Guidelines for intimate relationship assessment

  • According to Jennie Steinberg, the inventor of the Intimacy Relationship Checklist, the basic dimensions that can be tested in a relationship include the following eight aspects:

  • Communication: You can communicate effectively and in a comfortable state; when you communicate, you feel that you are being heard, respected, trusted, and relied upon.
  • Controversy: You can express different opinions in a fair way, without personal attacks and old accounts; you still feel that you are loved when you argue; you can express your emotions safely, apologize, and be able to accommodate each other.
  • Values: Both sides have similar values; or when values ​​are different, they can seek common ground while reserving differences and accept the way they are.
  • Sex: Satisfied with the quality and frequency of sex; can safely express their needs; understand each other's preferences; can tell the other party whether they are enjoying/uncomfortable; they will not worry about the other party's derailment; Tell the other party without feeling guilty.
  • Life goals: support each other in life; support the other half of the family, friendship links; the future vision of both parties can be compatible; understand each other's expectations of the future, can be patient when the other party is confused and uncertain.
  • Economy: Can reach a consensus on how to spend money and save money; consider and discuss long-term expenses, discuss how to budget when economic difficulties are difficult; if you have a wide gap in economic strength, you will not be in your relationship. Power produces significant unequalness.
  • Fun: You can feel full of fun together, laugh together; have a date for two; do small things that make the other person care; the other half is your best friend.
  • Parenting: A consensus can be reached on parenting styles, and each other's opinions can be considered. Both parties can take responsibility for raising children; they can have other topics besides children; relationships can be as close as they were before giving birth.
  • Advantages of intimate relationship assessment

  • A partner's timely assessment and inspection of intimacy helps you make better decisions about each other. Studies have shown that those who have experienced intimate relationship checks and discussions, the state of the relationship will really get better. The consultant believes that all partners should carefully evaluate each other's relationship before breaking up. If there is any place worth saving, they can also work out the direction and strategy of joint efforts in the evaluation process.